Just when you think you've got it down...a line from some song in my distant past. I finally felt I was making headway on the most difficult problem I've ever faced at work. I thought I nearly had it licked. All the inter-relations, twists and turns. I collared and muzzled the many-headed dog and was about to chain it to the wall.
But no, I missed a head, which has just reached around and taken a huge chunk out of my ass, tonight. The progress from last three weeks of 20+ hour work days is falling down upon my head like a deck of cards. Every solution, every link in the chain I have built to restrain the beast relied on every other link and they have all failed.
I realized something tonight. Never in all my years have I been defeated while on the job. I get paid to take a pile of shit and turn it into gold. I get paid to find and fix problems. I've been so very lucky in that a solution has always presented itself and in time to pull my ass out of the fire. Every single time, in the end I've won. Tonight, I also realized that this time I have been defeated. The beast has won. I will leave this ship in four days, defeated, and I don't like the taste it leaves in my mouth.
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I once had this toilet. Wouldn't swallow shit. No matter how many times I remounted the seal, reemed it out with the monster snake, or put bone melting chemicals down it, it just would not work.
ended up replacing it, then smashing it. (curiousity autopsy)
turned out it was designed wrong. It was never going to work.
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