Stowaway!

Every Saturday we have a drill of some sort.  Today, we had to find and kill a stowaway.  Of course, they picked the smallest , sneakiest son of a gun on the vessel to be the stowaway.  He went off and hid sometime before the drill and NOBODY knew where he hid.  The alarm went of ,we broke into teams and performed a very thorough and organized search of the entire vessel.  Then, we did it again.  And again.  Then, we broke up the teams, disregarded the placard lists we held and began tearing the ship apart to find the little bastard.  Then, we did it again.  And again.  And again.  As it came close to 2 hours of fruitless searching and we began to wonder if he had fallen overboard, the captain was forced to ring the alarm bells, again and plead with him to come out, over the intercom.  We met in the mess for a general meeting and gave him a standing ovation when he finally entered.

It's hard to describe, but the best I can do is to say he hid INSIDE a structural beam of the ship.  Bastard.