Friday, December 28, 2007

A hodge-podge of miscellany, thank you very much

Along the same lines as "where do the missing, left socks go?", I wonder why all chairs ordered for a SHIP come with wheels. We're in heavy swell and my back hurts from trying to stay braced close to my desk. On other ships, I've set up bungee cord restraints for my chair, but it's such a pain in the ass when your moving from workstation-to-work station, hopping chairs on a spread-out system like the one I have on this ship.

In the quest to transform myself from Jelly Roll Man, to a leaner, meaner pirate, I finally dumped work at shift change (or only a little, tiny bit after) and stomped down to the gym for the first time in 5 days. I pushed through another 12.5KM on the elliptical machine and hope to arrive at the second village, Penzance, sometime tomorrow morning. I also modified my goal for the trip, from and unrealistic 389KM to Gloucester, to a reasonable 240-some KM to a town called Taunton, which reminds of a city mentioned in a book I read long ago, called Deep Taunton. In an attempt to foil my grandiose plans of loosing a few pounds, our chef prepared custard and whipped cream-filled pastries, walking out with a fresh tray right in front of me as I headed for a post-workout snack of dry toast and yogurt. Bastard. Yes, I folded like a house of cards in an earthquake.

What else? oh, while bobbing around at sea, 15,000 miles from home, I read online that my cell phone bill will increase due to Michigan trying to soak every last dime out of everything they can, which, if I read correctly in a previous article, includes a tax on baby shoe bronzing. Yes, it was specifically mentioned in the tax notice. Baby shoe bronzers ( you know, those people who smell like burnt metal and reside in the dark places us common folk pretend to ignore, but steer away from as if Satan himself waited among the shadows, but I digress...)need to band together and stand up to the Man. And while they're at it, they need to something about my cell phone bill.

That's a wrap from down here in the Southern Ocean. Weather and work suck, in tandem and I'm tired of both. Be good up there, or Ill break out my estoppel-yes, its sharp and I'm just itching to use it...

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