Thursday, January 31, 2008

The world ends tomorrow

You'd think I got bored sitting around, waiting to have my nuts snipped. Couldn't wait for the pain and misery to begin, so I had some long put-off dentistry done this morning. Fuck that morning cuppa joe-go get a root canal done at 7:30 and start your day off with a bang! What, not enough? OK, rip out a tooth in preparation for a crown, or is it a bridge? I can't remember I'm so giddy from the pain. Oh, glorious pain!

Take an aspirin, or Motrin you say? Well, not only would that defeat the purpose of getting in a little practice pain before the real deal, but you can't take any aspirin, or Motrin before you get your balls chopped off with a meat cleaver. So today was the perfect day for a little dental distress. The only real fun has been chasing LP around with my swollen face. She's scared of it from some reason. Sadly, she's finally off for a delayed start to school and I've got nobody to scare, except the dog and he could give a shit.

I suppose this might be the last post for a bit unless things go well (I am the eternal pessimist and I swear the doc is going to sneeze at just the wrong moment), or I decide to rip a page from Danny and post a shot of my frozen peas-clad crotch (I'm not sure if I want to scare off my last three readers, but it might be a great way to end the blog-"Yo, look at this gaping hole in my sack!")

Our blizzard ended some time last night, but it's still damn cold. I was freezing this morning while clearing off the trucks and warming up PW's truck on my way out. Must have been close to zero, maybe a couple of degrees above. Too damn cold to be out before the sun comes up, preparing to head to the dentist, anyway. Since my face feels like it's been ripped off, I have an excuse not to shovel the driveway, but I suppose I'll have to venture out at some point today, since I still have to buy a cup for the surgery, tomorrow. The doc says you fill it with crushed ice, sort of making like a shrimp cocktail...


Mr. Bud said...

OH. Plaaeze.
post a full 8X10 glossy photo of the chopped up swollen birds nest for us all to enjoy whilest we eat our banana's and grapes for breakfast..
(new definition of sick, ... although let me photo shop it first.. you could be the king .. could be.. bwahahah)

off to stressica's going away party. i'll get drunk for both of us. promise.
frozen.nut.cup. OMG.

Freddie said...

Ow. And ow. Speedy recoveries Dude.

I hope you don't end the blog.

And Mr. Bud, Bwah!

LL said...

You, Sir, are a pussy. Seriously. They just put in little clips!! And the Ex demanded they cut and cauterize instead. And he did fine. Little pain. Quit being a sissy. If I can squeeze out my big-headed babies, you can deal with a TINY incision.



I'm such a great cheerleader, huh?

pw said...


The Pirate said...

I freely admit that I'm a card-carrying pussy when it comes to using knives on my package-and I AM getting the night of the long knives, not any sort of clips.

mr bud, the cup is already in the freezer-next to the frozen peas and carrots.

Note: I've already told PW we have to get frozen peas, only. No little frozen, sharp corners allowed!

Fyremandoug said...

I would have rather had my Vas snipped than get a fucking root get to lay around and drink and all is good....give it some down time and dont tear any stiches, but its a cake walk dude
no trouble...oh the jell ice packs rock......and check out Coheed and Cambria / The Suffering, the dude sounds like Getty Lee from rush,
peace out and drink some Vino

Heidi said...

Um, the mental pictures are so vivid, I don't think I want the 8x10 Mr. Bud is talking about.

Maeve said...

As some one that had a 10 lb child, all I can say is don't be a pussy!
Ah well, by the time you read this, it will all be said & done.
Hopefully it went quickly and I sure could use a chuckle out of some photo shopped pictures!